Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
