we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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