He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
