I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
