Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
