More tranny stories later!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
