dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
