If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
