suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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