I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
