i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
