Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
