There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
