Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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