so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
