What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
