your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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