i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
