I just saw a hot homeless man
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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