i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
