Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
