I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Who put my cat in the fridge?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
