i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
