Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize