foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
