Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize