We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
