I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize