Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize