Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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