I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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