mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
