i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
