Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
