i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
