Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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