I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
