oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
