I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
honey bunches of taint.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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