For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
