Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
