There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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