I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
