We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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