I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
