Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize