I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize