im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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