Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
