I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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