No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize