I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
