They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Pants are for mortals
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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