i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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