I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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