I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
