Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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