He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
