I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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