My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
