Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
