fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
