I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
