Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
