GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
