He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
