I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize